Rock or Hard Place?
Punch in the face or kick in the nuts?
Nickelback or Creed?
West Coast or Collingwood?
For a neutral fan picking a side in this years AFL Grand Final is a hard task but after some consideration, we have settled on Collingwood and come up with eight into reasons why it’s ok to support the Magpiesin the AFL Grand Final this Saturday.
1- The Players
The likes of Brodie Grundy, Tyson Goldsack, Adam Treloar, Scott Pendlebury, Travis Varcoe are all great footballers and based on all impressions really likeable blokes.
There are redemption stories in Jordan De Goey, Josh Thomas and Chris Mayne and how can anyone not like the big American import, Mason Cox?
Not only did he own Richmond last Friday night, but his Twitter game is also outstanding.
This time last year members of the media were calling for his head and claimed he had clearly failed as coach of the Magpies, but Nathan Buckley just got on with the job.
The players and the club believed in him and they are reaping the benefits of persistence and staying the course.
In every interview and press conference, Nathan Buckley conducts himself with absolute class, dignity and respect that some other AFL coaches could learn from.
The man thoroughly deserves to be part of a premiership and should the Pies go all the way on Saturday, you couldn’t help but be happy for the bloke.
3 – AFL Banner Premiership Winners 2018
It all started with an on-brand spelling mistake when the Magpies faced Carlton earlier in the year.
Then after a week of jokes and ridicule at the expense of the Collingwood cheer squad, they followed it up with this absolute beauty.
In the wake of Jack Higgins goal of the year against the Pies, the subliminal message in the Pies banner the following week was something to behold.
In their Round 23 game against Freo, the Pies had this message going into the finals.
And going into their semi-final clash with GWS, the Pies cheer squad came up with this topical beauty winning them the 2018 Banner Premiership by the length of the Flemington straight.
Meanwhile, West Coast has persisted with running through a blow-up doll with Wolfmother pumping on the PA at home games this season.
4- Good Old Collingwood Forever
Let’s face it, it’s a bloody great iconic footy club anthem and is the only one that acknowledges their supporters with the lyrics “See The Barackers are Shouting”.
You would rather the old Fable Singers tune (which Collingwood kept in wake of the AFL theme song scandal earlier in the year) be ringing around the MCG on Saturday than the West Coast song, which sounds like an advertising jingle for a life insurance agency.
However, the original West Coast Eagles club song that was played after their Grand Final triumph’s in 1992 and 1994 is an absolute classic and the lyrics really reflect the West’s chip on their shoulder about the Eastern States.
So watch out, all you know alls, all you wise men from the East…
5 – West Coast Fans at Optus Stadium aka: The Boo Factory.
First things first, Collingwood fans are feral, but they are self-aware of that.
West Coast fans at Optus Stadium are also feral, but they are not aware of it.
The acoustics of the new stadium in Perth has really exposed the excessive booing that Eagles fans are now famous for.
Even when they are 80 points up and the opposition gets a blatantly obvious free-kick “BOOOOOOOOOO”, Andrew Gaff just knocks out Andrew Brayshaw – Standing Ovation.
I’m sure they are all lovely people individually, and every other fan base does partake in booing, but the Eagles home ground matchday experience of pointless booing stands out and, much like Vuvuzela’s at the 2010 World Cup, it’s painful to put up with.
6 – Salty Non-Victorian Footy Social Media Will Blow Up About the Grand Final Venue
“i aM oUtRaGeD tHaT wEsT cOaAsT fInIsHeD hIgHeR oN tHe lAdDeR tHaN cOlLiNgWoOd aNd hAvE tO pLaY tHe gRaNd fInAl aT tHe McG tHe mAgPiEs hOmE gRoUnD.”
Seen a similar hot-take on various social media platforms during the week?
According to people who support non-Victorian teams, the AFL Grand Final being played at the MCG is a new phenominon and that any team that’s won a Grand Final in recent years against non-VIC clubs aren’t legit.
Whatever happened to finals football, anywhere anytime?
We all know that if you love football, you know that the MCG is the true home of football and the Grand Final.
Given that the Grand Final is staying at the MCG until at least 2057, we’re in for a good 30+ years of this “debate”.
However, If you’re keen on some schadenfreude, should Collingwood win there will be some more hot takes with more salt than saxa about the MCG and Grand Final Day.
7 – If you Can’t Beat ’em Join ’em
If you don’t support Collingwood and you live in Melbourne, she’s going to be a rough old night if you don’t want anything to do with them.
You should either leave the city or just join in.
Win or lose, a car is probably going to get tipped over.
One only needs to look at the Magpie celebrations after their drought-breaking premiership win in 1990 to see what Melbourne will be like should the Pies win the flag.
8- We All Have a Magpie Mate
They might be friends, family, colleagues, neighbours.
Believe it or not, some Collingwood fans are good people.
Not all, but some.
You might engage in some decent footy chat with them, they may have been good to you at the time of your own teams’ success and provided you can bear with 12 months of “Flagpies” talk just reassure yourself that the Colliwobbles and Magpies jokes will always come back.