The conversation picked up exactly where it left off, with Special Agent Jarrod on the case to find out who peed in his precious pot plant.
“If it has been sabotaged, you guys need to grow up.”
Yeah, because launching a whole bloody investigation about piss in a pot plant is super mature.
Stu got the single date and dominated.
They went on a boat and somehow managed to get dolphins to cruise by, which is ridiculously special timing given my endless hunt for the damn things along the coast. Jealous AF.
After a long day on the boat, they sat down to have a decent chat.
They spoke about how they had met previously, and Sophie stood Stu up.
But instead of thinking his chance was gone, he managed to find his way onto the show in a last-ditch bid to get her attention.
“Through this experience you would have ended up with someone else. I didn’t want that to happen.
“You were worth the risk, the gamble.”
There you have it guys. A man ready for commitment, ready to do anything for the girl he likes, ready to fight for what he wants. She was smitten, as she should be. If only all guys showed that kind of romance and maturity. It was bloody refreshing.
They had a few pashes and they definitely had chemistry. Stu for the win.
The group date came next.
Sophie organised a night in with onesies and Mexican food which only saw my love for her grow.
What a perfect date. That is goals right there.
It was made even more perfect by the elephant onesie Blake had to wear. It had a rude looking trunk that kept draping awkwardly across his face, which was apt because he’s a dickhead.
As expected, Jarrod was super uptight and took control in the kitchen with AJ to cook up the Mexican, while the other guys smartly sat back and chilled with Sophie in the yard.
He wouldn’t even undo zip on his onesie a little bit, and with that ridiculously pink complexion, Jarrod looked like he was choking in that giraffe get up.
“I feel like more of a giraffe if it’s done up.”
Microsoft Word needs the eye roll emoji for moments like this.
Sophie got the guys to write down questions and she anonymously read them out.
One of them was: “Does anyone feel like they could have their heart broken?”
They all opened up about that one. It was good to see that the male population can feel the hurt the female population does. Again, refreshing.
Then came the big question: “Who sabotaged Jarrod’s pot plant?”
Cue another slanging match between Jarrod and Blake.
“You said you pissed on my plant,” Jarrod said.
“I didn’t do shit,” Blake said.
Yeah, but you did Blake. Your bestie Sam revealed all to the cameras in private.
“Blake’s my brother and I know he pissed in it.” Stunning. I’m not even angry, I’m impressed.
Then Sophie pulled out some items their families had sent in from their childhoods.
Jarrod was sent his blankie and he told a long story about it.
“Don’t take the piss out of me on this because I really like my blankie.”
He started sniffing the blanket, much to Blake’s disgust.
“Mate what are you doing? Why would you sniff your blanket?” Blake said.
Jarrod couldn’t deal and ran inside to have a cry about his blankie.
He was already acting like a child on this show, but that blankie brought out the toddler in him. He was regressing.
Straight away I thought he’s just a guy in a giraffe onesie that’s eaten a shit load of Mexican and drank way too much beer and couldn’t deal with all the feels. That’s a regular Saturday night, isn’t it?
“Just memories, it’s hard,” Jarrod sniffled.
Seriously, I’ve heard so many people drunk-cry that line. It’s so ambiguous and is said by someone who can’t even remember why they’re crying in the first place.
Also mate, that’s rock bottom right there. Crying in a onesie about your childhood blankie on national TV. I’m sure your ex-girlfriends are having a wine to toast how they dodged a pretty sweet bullet there. Not hot.
Mack got some extra time with Sophie but blew it by being a fangirl. He couldn’t even get his words out.
“It was more like he got backstage tickets for a meet and greet than a date,” Sophie said.
With no cocktail party, they went straight to the rose ceremony where Mack was given the flick, along with the biggest surprise in recent Bachie memory, Luke.
What the hell are you doing Sophie? Luke didn’t drunk-cry his feels to you like Jarrod! He is a George Clooney clone and you let him go! I realise his sheepskin coat and awful brimmed hat are dodgy AF, but that’s fixable! Big mistake.
Good news girls, Luke is in the wild again. Let the hunt begin. I’ll lead the charge. I’m off to the pub.