So after Blake’s great escape at the rose ceremony, the guys all sat around the mansion talking about how shook they were by the events of the evening.
Blake looked like he’d cheated death. Somehow I don’t think that had anything to do with the rose ceremony though. He just looked like a guy who’d drunk heaps of beer and had flown a little too close to the sun. The hangover was real I’m tipping.
With five guys left, the Bachelorette producers decided the time was right to bring in an expert from e-Harmony to determine how compatible the guys were for Sophie.
Isn’t it a bit late for that? Imagine if none of them were matches. What a titanic waste of time for everyone involved, including myself. I’ve spent hours watching this show with the promise Sophie would find true love! The last four weeks would have been a lie.
They did a few little tasks and James was eliminated from the date early, which was a bad sign. Turns out he’s not all that compatible with her. It had me wondering: do you go with the science man telling you that it wouldn’t work or do you follow your heart in that situation? Before that challenge, James was the second favourite!
The next task saw the guys dress mannequins in an ideal date outfit for Sophie.
Apollo dressed her in a jumpsuit for a date at Byron Bay and he lost the challenge. WTF? I’ll go to Byron with you. I’ll wear the jumpsuit. Ring me!
Side note: he is so going to be the next Bachelor. He’s a ten out of ten.
The last three guys played a little game inspired by the old TV show ‘Perfect Match’, and it was in this challenge that Stu decided to start using tactics.
Can we get a slow clap for Stu? Welcome to the show bud.
Jarrod spelt ‘Maldives’ wrong on one of his cards, and I know Sophie never saw it but all of us at home did and he should have been marched off the show there and then. He spelt it ‘Meldives’. Let that sink in.
Anyway, Stu used a few clever answers to get Sophie’s attention and won extra time with her. Well done Stu. That’s called playing the game! Remember, nice guys finish last. Well, on TV they do. In the real world I’d much prefer them than the jerks I’ve dealt with.
They had a pash and it went well.
“I came here for Soph and I don’t want to leave without her,” Stu said.
Mate, if you’re a player, Australia will hunt you down. He better bloody mean what he said.
The next day, Blake was given a single date. Part of me was annoyed because it meant I had to sit there and watch his arrogant smirk on TV for the next 20 minutes, and part of me was relieved because he couldn’t keep whinging about how he hadn’t had a single date yet.
As expected, Jarrod was pleased for Blake.
“It’s crap. The one guy who’s sat back and done nothing. Not happy.”
That’s the first thing Jarrod and I have agreed upon.
They went to hang with some baby goats and Blake went on the charm offensive. When I say ‘charm offensive’ I am definitely emphasising the word ‘offensive’. He kept talking about how he’d changed tactics so that Sophie will like him, openly telling the cameras that he was manipulating her to stay on the show. I know they say don’t hate the player, hate the game, but in this instance, I reckon it’s ok to hate both. Cocky AF.
They milked a goat to make cheese and it was weird.
“Look at me go. I’m Martha Stewart,” Sophie said.
They then went and had a wine and Blake came out with this gem: “I always try to make whoever I’m with feel like they’re the only one.”
‘Feel’ like they’re the only one, or ‘are’ the only one Blake? Seriously, come on.
They pashed and it looked like Sophie had fallen for the act.
At the cocktail party, Jarrod was raging that Blake had done so well.
“We want to make sure Sophie doesn’t end up with the wrong guy. I seriously don’t want her to get out of this and end up with a dud.”
I hear ya mate.
The rose ceremony was next, and I tell you what, it was surprising.
I totally thought Apollo was on the way out due to his age gap with Sophie, and I was looking forward to seeing him appear on Bumble later on that night.
But no. Sophie took the e-Harmony man’s advice and ditched James.
James. I’ll repeat that again. James. The nice guy. I sure as hell hope she didn’t base that decision on a stupid challenge.
She might as well log into a dating site now and skip the rest of the show if that’s how she wants to filter her potential boyfriends.
So that leaves Jarrod, Blake, Apollo and Stu. Home visits are tomorrow night. Oh boy, wowee.