The public slinging match between Eddie McGuire and David Koch over Port Adelaide’s prison bar uniform warrants a place in the Oxford Dictionary under the term “petty”.
It takes an almighty ego to assume that one club has a monopoly on a certain colour scheme but it should not come as a surprise at all.
These two going back and forth trying to one up each other was one thing but Port’s phenomenal troll job on Saturday night saw them break out the prison bar jerseys as a middle finger to the Millionaire Hot Seat host.
Undoubtedly this will not be the last time this topic comes up but it has already earned its place in the Petty Sports Hall of Fame.
Andrew Bogut and Liz Cambage
Australian basketball’s most famous feud produced some proper low blows on the home of petty exchanges, Twitter dot com.
Bogut was more than happy to point out Cambage skipped an Opals training camp to go to Splendour in the Grass.
While the posts may no longer exist, they have been transcribed in enough places that neither person will be able to escape these shots.
[email protected] would not have guessed better late than never is your mantra! ��Know of any music festivals i can skip training for in Rio?– Andrew Bogut (@andrewbogut) July 26, 2016
lol you haven’t even played for Australia for years until last year but ok �� https://t.co/TYWIM6A2be– Elizabeth Cambage (@ecambage) July 26, 2016
@andrewbogut @fomoaus HA! If you’re looking for truth and honesty maybe you should ask @basketballaus why I sat out last year 🙃– Elizabeth Cambage (@ecambage) July 26, 2016
It looked like they had (sort of) buried the hatchet, before the debate erupted again with Cambage labelling Bogut a keyboard coward.
Ben Simmons and Donovan Mitchell
Sticking with basketball, Simmons and Mitchell will probably look back at their dispute over the definition of ‘rookie’ and wonder what was going on.
Having a couple of players setting the league alight in their first seasons on the court is nothing new, but seeing these two argue semantics was out of the ordinary.
It boiled down to the fact Simmons (drafted first overall in 2016) missed the 2016/2017 season through injury and was therefore eligible for the Rookie of the Year award in the following campaign.
Mitchell was the 13th overall pick in 2017 and a true rookie in the 17/18 season and claimed that Simmons should not have been eligible.
Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal
It turns out that the only thing that could have derailed the LA Lakers dynasty in the early 2000’s was the LA Lakers, or at least their two superstars.
Both Kobe and Shaq felt like they were the Batman of the operation and the other was Robin.
It lead to Shaq getting traded to Miami (where he won another title almost immediately), while Kobe played out the rest of his career in LA.
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick
Just like the Lakers, the only thing which could stop the New England Patriots’ dominance of the NFL over 20 years was Tom Brady and Bill Belichick deciding they could not work together anymore.
Belichick never treated Brady like a superstar and after two decades, the greatest QB of all time had decided enough was enough when it came to the greatest coach of all time.
Since Brady moved to Tampa, he’s taken some fairly blunt shots at Belichick and the culture he has created in New England.
Maybe they’ll get over it one day but in the meantime, just enjoy Brady and company ripping him from afar.
Jose Mourinho and Arsene Wenger
The rivalry between Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger was borne out of sheer competition with the two greats going head to head for silverware year after year.
As for Mourinho, he was desperate to be accepted at the big boys table and the self dubbed Special One was more than happy to take his shots at the French manager.
Even after Wenger left Arsenal, Mourinho is still firing away.
Lee Bowyer and Keiron Dyer
We’ve all seen footballers across every code get frustrated with a teammate when the ball doesn’t go their way.
Very few have resorted to punching on with a teammate however Lee Bowyer and Keiron Dyer, both Newcastle players, had enough of each other during a match.
What we would have given for a microphone to pick up what was said between the two.
Ange Postecoglou and Craig Foster
Before Fozz decided to go for every humanitarian award possible, he was a confrontational and occasionally controversial pundit on SBS.
Unimpressed with the performance of Australia’s youth teams under Ange Postecoglou, Foster went after him on The World Game.
It’s still the most memorable moment of his media career.
Robbie Slater and Craig Foster
Foster was also behind the microphone, providing ‘expert commentary’ for some of the Socceroos biggest moments on SBS.
However during the 2014 World Cup, Robbie Slater was fed up with Foster referring to all the players by first names and/or nicknames.
Foster showcased his full vocabulary with this well phrased reply.
Brenton Speed and Mark Bosnich
The madcap scramble to finish the 2019/2020 A-League season tested the mental strength of everyone, commentators included.
Even the commentators got a bit tired and irritable.
Brenton Speed and Mark Bosnich disagreed over a penalty decision and Bosnich pulled the “expert” card on Speedy.
Gareth Bale and Real Madrid
Welsh superstar Gareth Bale has not enjoyed his time in Spain with Real Madrid despite a plethora of trophies.
A falling out with Zinedine Zidane, he was frozen out of the squad and responded in properly petty fashion while playing for Wales.
Safe to say he is happy to be on loan with Tottenham this season.
Shane Warne and Steve Waugh
This dispute dates back to 1999 when Waugh dropped Warne for a test in the West Indies, the only one the spinner missed through injury.
When appearing on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here in 2016, Warne went off on his former skipper and cited that as the main reason among many.
Just last year Warne took another pop calling Waugh a selfish teammate.
Carrying any grudge for over 20 years is actually impressive… and of course properly petty.
Buzz Rothfield v Phil Gould
Phil Gould might be more notorious for his work as a member of the media than his coaching career of late, but he still isn’t above that old coaching trick of adopting an us against them attitude towards the media.
Veteran scribe Buzz Rothfield must have written something Gould didn’t agree with, after all, why would he have blocked him on the Twitter?
Nick Kyrgios and Novak Djokovic
We won’t re-litigate Djokovic’s time in hotel quarantine, just give you the opinion of one Nicholas Kyrgios.
Whatever started this rivalry, it has made tennis a lot more watchable with a player displaying something resembling a personality.
Long may this rivalry continue if we keep getting stuff like this.
We could probably do a full blog post on Kyrgios’s feuds just in the tennis world.
Novak Djokovic and Common Sense
Hey, it’s the middle of a global pandemic, tournaments are being cancelled all over the place, so what should Novak Djokovic do?
Run his own tennis tournament and have plenty of parties during the week.
What could possibly go wrong?
Kyrie Irving and Science
In the past, Irving has questioned the legitimacy of gravity, whether or not dinosaurs were real and has also suggested that the earth is flat.
If you were ever wondering why he didn’t quite gel with his teammates in Boston.
Seb Vettel and Mark Webber
With both men going for the 2010 F1 World title, Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel threw the teammate rule book out the window and collided in the Turkish Grand Prix.
It was the pinnacle of the rivalry as two men got caught up in the heat of battle, while commentators said Vettel was at fault, the Red Bull team boss sided with his German prodigy.
Tensions boiled over later in the season when Vettel defied team orders and stole Webber’s race win in Malaysia.
Once again, these guys were teammates!