For a neutral fan, picking a side in this year’s AFL Grand Final is a hard task but after some consideration, it’s as easy as ABC – Anyone But Collingwood.
We’ve come up with eight reasons why it’s okay to support the Brisbane Lions.
(1) Collingwood
It’s pretty simple.
The Lions are playing Collingwood.
Even the thought of supporting the Pies should make you cringe.
(2) Collingwood
Do you have any idea what Melbourne, let alone Australia and the world will be like should Collingwood win the Grand Final?
Feral.
Absolutely feral.
The summer of 2010-11 was bloody hard work full of Magpie fans gloating all summer long with “COOOLLLLLINNNNNGGGWWWWOOOOOD” chants and #Flagpies.
Yuck.
One only needs a historical reminder as to what Melbourne was like after the Magpies broke their 32-year drought after winning the 1990 Grand Final against Essendon.
(3) Collingwood
Should Collingwood win the Grand Final they will be equal with Essendon and Carlton for the most premierships won (16) in VFL/AFL history.
Do you really want Collingwood fans boasting that they have the most premierships in the league?
Yeah, I thought not.
(4) Collingwood
We’ve all heard this doing the rounds over the past 18 months
“Craig McRae is so lovely” (he learned that from Brisbane)
“Darcy Moore is an outstanding citizen” (It’s all an act)
“The Daicos boys are amazing”
“Mason Cox what a character”
“Jodan DeGoey has changed”
Stop it already.
This liking of Collingwood simply needs to stop.
Collingwood doesn’t want to be liked.
They want to be hated and should be hated.
Do not give in to this nice, cute, and cuddly Collingwood.
A leopard never changes its spots – nor does a Magpie.
(5) Anyone But Collingwood
There are only a few rules in life – nothing is certain but death and taxes, do to others as you would have them do to you and anyone but Collingwood.
Even if you don’t like the Brisbane Lions, they are playing Collingwood in a Grand Final.
When in doubt, always remember your ABC – Anyone But Collingwood.
If anything, Ticketek were heroes on Sunday night.
(6) Eddie McGuire
Need we say anymore?
Sure he’s no longer the President at Collingwood, but could you imagine an entire year of Eddie gloating about Collingwood winning the premiership?
Do you really want this?
(7) Collywobbles
Is there anything in football that gives supporters of 17 other clubs more joy than the Collywobbles?
Dom Sheed’s efforts in the 2018 Grand Final was another chapter in the proud football tradition that is Collingwood losing in the Grand Final and the world is a better place for it.
It even makes this clip of them holding a funeral for the Collywobbles back in 1990 even funnier.
(8) Party like its 2002 and 2003.
The early 2000s were a good time.
Football was broadcast on Channel 10
Ja Rule ft. Ashanti was topping the charts with Mesmerize.
Getting 25-cent text messages on your $20 pre-paid credit was considered great value, and if you were out of credit there was always 1800 REVERSE on the payphone to save the day.
FUBU was considered the peak of fashion,
And the only vote that mattered was if you were team Guy Sebastian (Collingwood) or team Nollsie (Brisbane) in Australian Idol.
Along with that, one of, if not the greatest team of the modern era – the Brisbane Lions was winning premierships for fun with two of those against Collingwood.
20 years on, and the Brisbane Lions are again here to prevent Collingwood from winning another premiership and quite frankly that’s the only reason you need to make the Lions your team on Saturday.